Today is the Indy 500!  That means fast cars and of course hot Indy babe Danica Patrick!

Did you know that they’re over 200 different words to describe the female breast?

Air Bags

Arm Rests

Ballermen

Balloons

Balongas

Barackas

Bass Drums

Bazongas

Bazookas

Bazooms

Big-ones

Big ‘Uns

Binoculars

Bodacious Ta-Ta’s

Bongos

Boobies

Booblets (for small ones)

Boobs

Boulders

Bouncers………more below the fold…..(Get it?)

Bouncing Betties

Breakfast, dinner and everything in between

Breasts

Breastisists

Cabbobbas

Cajungas

Cantelopes

Chest

Chestnuts

Chi Chi’s

Chickies

Coconuts

Conversation Pieces

Crowd Pleasers

Cum Recepticles

Cupcakes

Deals

Dick Squeezers

Dingers

Dual Air Bags

Dueling Banjos

Ear Warmers

Entertainment

Erotic Volcanos

Flesh Pillows

Flippers

Floaters

Flotation Devices

Fog Lights

French Horns

Fried Eggs

Fun Bags

Gifts

Golden Bozos

Guns

Guzzongas

Hand Warmers

Headlights

Heavens in your hands

Heaves o’ Heavan

Hills

Hogans

Honkers

Hooters

Incentives

Jigglers

Jingle Bells (During Christmas Time)

Jobblies

Joy Buzzers

Jugoombies

Jugs

Jumblies

Knobs

Lactation Stations

Lefty & Righty

Lil ‘Uns

Lolas

Lollipops

Love Humps

Love Muffins

Lunch Trays

Kittens

Magic Mountains

Mammaries

Mammery Cannons

Massive Melons

Melons

Milk Jugs

Milk Wagons

Missles

Mosquito Bites

Mounds

Mountains

Mountains of Love

Mountains of Perfection

Muffins

Nay-Nays

Nipple Cushions

Nockers

Non-Dairy Creamers

Nugens

Pacifiers

Pair

Party Favors

Party Hats

Peaks

Penis Pillows

Penis Pleasers

Penis Warmers

Pillows

Pints

Play Toys

Puppies

Purple People Eaters

Quicker Sticker Uppers

Rack

Radio Dials

Recliners

Riding Handles

Ripe Flesh

Rocky Mountains

Set

Smarties

Snack Trays

Stacks

Stoobs

Squeezables

Sweater Kittens

Taters

Thingys

Tits

Titymackers

Tomatoes

Tonkers

Torpedoes

Tracks o’ land

Twangers

Twin Peaks

Twins

Warheads

Wazoos

Weapons

Whammies

Whoahs

Whoppers

Window Displays

Winnebago’s

Wobblers

Woffers

Yaboos

Yazoos

Yummys

Zambonies

ZepplinPhrases:

Brothers (As in: “Here comes Suzi and her brothers”)

Midgets (As in: “Looks like she’s hiding some midgets in her shirt”)

“Nice set of lungs”

Punks (As in: “what did you do last nigt? — I got up on dem PUNKS!”)Foreign:

Azeem

Babbenutter

Babser

Baghylerhåndtag

Ballamaenner

Bergerner

Charakter

Delis

Duttln

Familienjuwelen

Geraete

Gomas

Holz vor der Huette

Jader

Jordi

Moerderteile

Möpse

Nawgs

Nichons

Norks

Ohren

Otises

Pai

Pakkenusser

Patter

Pechonos

Peitos

Pramme

Pukler

Quarktaschen

Quasteln

Schleuche

Stoßdämpfer

Tetas

Tetotas

Titten

VusiOriginal:

Breakfast of Champions

Burgeoning Aspices

God’s gift to men

Proffered Fruit

Silken Swells

Swelling Flesh

Swollen Bounties

Tantalizing Offers

Warm, Heavy weights

A Reason to Talk to Women

A Reason to Live

This is perhaps one of the most classy and beautiful leading ladies in all of Hollywood right now.

Starring in movies such as “Fools Rush In” and with Antonio Banderas in “Desperado”, and just having a baby recently, she proves time and time again that Sexy doesn’t have to mean tacky

Dangerous curves and smart as hell……….Salma Hayek

It’s quite simple, I have a total of three, count them 3 main qualities I look for in a woman.

1. No Teeth (think about it)

2. No Voice (Obvious reasons)

And finally, drum roll please………………………………….

3. A Flat Head (somewhere to set my beer)

Who could ask for anything more?

I know she’s simply a character from a tv show, but DAMN!  First and foremost, she’s Jewish, she kicks ass, and she is hot as hell!

Her backstory/what we know:

• Ziva’s father is Deputy Director David of Mossad. Ziva is also known to have been the control officer for Ari Haswari who killed Kate. Ari was Ziva’s half-brother. Ziva was also an assassin for Mossad in Israel. Ari’s story that her father set up the bombing of Ari’s mother in Gaza, thus ensuring Ari’s abiding hatred, disturbs Ziva so much that she cannot stay around her father or Mossad. Jenny has arranged a secondment of her to NCIS for an indefinite period. As far as Mossad is concerned, Gibbs killed Ari and, for Ziva to stay safe, the secret that Ziva actually pulled the trigger must stay secret.
• She did 6 months in England prior to working in America: it is her excuse for driving on the left instead of the right, when driving the van back to NCIS HQ in Silver War.
• She worked in Cairo, Egypt with Jenny, saving Jenny’s life (as Jenny tells Gibbs in Kill Ari 2).
• She is excellent at collecting “intel” (intelligence data) that leads to successful ‘eliminations of target’. She does not expect to grow old in her job: she points out to Gibbs in Kill Ari that, although to Gibbs she is young to be Ari’s handler, the older agents are usually dead.
• Her family all work for Mossad but it is not compulsory. Ziva’s motivation was from the death of her sister in a bombing: “she was 16 years old and the best of us“. (EDIT: Ziva also says she was Mossad “long before Tali’s death” indicating that wasn’t the reason she joined.)

Danica Patrick, need I say more?

Ladies….Read them, learn them, know them, and above all else………..Live them!

Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us whining about you leaving it down.

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Saturday = Sports

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

We don’t remember dates. Mark them on a calendar and remind us frequently.

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Check your oil! Please.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer that question anymore.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us look. It doesn’t hurt anyone, to look. And for us, its genetic.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.

We are not mind readers and we never will be.

If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will believe you.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together. No, it doesn’t matter which quiz.

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don’t mind that, it’s like camping.

I wanted a blog that was more then political & not politically correct.  Todays society in America has been imasculating men for the sake of diversity and political correctness.  I want men to reclaim their testicles and declare to the world that we are men.  We Burp, We Fart, We Scratch Ourselves!  We like Beer, Bacon, & Bimbos.  Fast cars, fast women, dirty jokes, porn, guns,  and the noises our own bodies make. 

This blog is to celebrate everything that is Man!