The Mens Room Wall

“I pity the man whose poetic ability is aroused by the smell of shit”

I’ve always been a huge fan of Bathroom Poetry and Potty Philosophy.  Those words of wit while I shit have always brought a smile to my face and made the day seem not so fucking bad.  Here is a collection of those whimsical rhymes that I have collected from the World Wide Web.

“Don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die.”

“Those who write on bathroom walls
Roll their shit in little balls.
And thos who read these words of wit
Eat these little balls of shit!”

“Pee hard, Pee fast.
Pull the handle and haul ass.”

There once was a man from Nantucket Who’s balls were made of brass,
and whenever they clang together,
Lighting Shot out his ass.

“Anyone can Piss on the seat,
I wanna see you shit on the ceiling.”

Here I sit in clouds of vapor
Someone stole the toilet paper.
How much longer must I linger
Before I’m forced to use my finger?

“There was an old man from Peru,
Who fell asleep in his canoe.
While dreaming of Venus,
He played with his penis,
and awoke in a boat full of goo.”

here i sit in silent bliss
listening to the dribbling piss
now and then a fart is heard
followed by a falling turd

“Of all the people beneath the skies
the shit house wit I most despise
He comes in here to write his wit
While men with brains come here to shit”

Ben Ladin! Son of Satan. May bad luck follow you. May some old Harlot dose you and turn your knackers Blue.
Then when the war is over and you’re a perfect wreck.
May you slip back through your asshole and break your fuckin’ neck.

“i love that girl with the little red shoess
she spend’s my money and drink’s my booze
she don’t have a cherry but thats not a sin
cause she still has the box the cherry came in.”

Here I sit, broken hearted,
Paid my dime and only farted.
There I stood,
I took the chance,
Saved my dime and shit my pants.

“Dont throw toothpicks in the urinal, crabs can pole-vault.

“SHITHOUSE POETS WHEN YHEY DIE
SHOULD HAVE ERECTED WHERE THEY LIE
IN MEMORY OF THEIR CAUSTIC WIT
A MONUMENT OF SOLID SHIT”

“If you want to crap at ease
put both elbows on your knees
give a grunt,and give a squeeze
and out will come like rotten cheese.”

“Mexicans are proof that Indians fucked bears.”

Some come here to sit and think,
some come here to shit and stink,
but I come here to itch my balls,
and read the writing on the walls

“Here lies the bones of screwy Rick
Cursed at death with a corkscrew dick
Spent his life in a futile hunt
To find a girl with a corkscrew cunt
He found that girl, but now he is dead
The no account bitch had a left-hand thread.”

I was here but now i’m not I sat right here and smoked some pot, I’m writing this to make a point, Lifes a bitch so smoke a joint!!

“I fucked your Mom”
(written underneath) “Go home dad you’re drunk.”

“If a tree falls in the forest, and there’s nobody around to hear it – who gives a fuck?”